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“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”, replied the commander. The corporal, a man of considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.Finally, the last soldier was addressed. “And you, Private, where would you like measured?”“From the tip of me penis to the base of me balls, Sir!”, retorted the private.The commander replied, “I must admit this is quite an unusual request, Private, but it’s your decision.” He ordered the private to drop his pants for the ensuing measurement. Immediately the general’s mouth fell agape and he stammered, “Where in God’s name are your gonads, Private?!!”The private proclaimed, “Goose Green, Falkland Islands, Sir!!”There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent. I must have been hallucinating. Everything was very familiar. The butcher shop, the bakery, the shoemaker store, ice cream parlour, Danski's Tailors, Jaffi's book store ... I was home again! This was the street I grew up on and I knew every inch even if I was blind folded.I swivelled my head so hard to the right that I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Eyes wide, there stood my brownstone home. Mom had kept her flower garden as beautiful as ever, dad must have slaved to cut the lawn on his own without having me to argue with to get it done.The symbolic friendship wreath my mother made to welcome guests hung on the door. I was positive that the welcome-mat, also lovingly weaved by her, would lie sprawled at the front door stoop. We didn't hide a key under it; there was no need back then. I would walk through the door, kick off my shoes in every which direction and shed my school bag off my shoulders wherever it happened to land and scream out that I was home. I would always ask my.
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